Written Last Nit (Forgot the title...I'll name it now): Forest of Dead Leaves

well it's been a while, rit now im writing just cause it's been a while. a few nits ago a had a dream about pigs Jade-chan!!! cept it was kinda different from ur pigs...:S
things seem kinda abnormal right now. im not sure if ne thing makes sense ne more and im not sure y these things r hapeening. things dont have reasons. they happen because they happen.
a goal in life is something to strive for, is to give meaning to wat doesnt have any...is what gives us a sense of reality. i dont even know if i can consider myself *wise* ne more. i thought i had everything figured out...but it turns out to b a never ending loop of answers that always lead to the original questions. im too tired to figure them out ne more. im too tired...also, to find out all these answers and to end up not having ne one to tell these answers too....great, my mom diconnected the internet, guess ill haveta just save this. yes im still up mom, but dont worry bout it, im going to sleep now
me: ;-;
lol and tomorrow ill hafta take a shower. yeesh, 6:30 whoopiety do...i remember when it was *ok* to ge up at 8...and not worry about getting to school late. oy, no more of that.
life is fruiting weird. ur in one place at one time and the next thing u know it ur at a wedding altar. how does that make sense? the days r too short...i look at myself and wonder who i am, i dont know ne more, im changing, and i dont know whether i like it or not. i think im depressed, like (clinically) but w/e, ill fight it on my own. i remember that there were points in my life were i simply loved living. Now i wonder what I was thinking. No. Honestly...do you know? i said if i had the choice id live all over again. Dear God no, just please, not this again. Course then i was a kid and in being a kid...life...is so...the same all the time...so full of hope for the future. i have hope for the future..i do...but i kno rit now...life is such...crap. i mean dont get me wrong, there r good things about it...but..just look @ all those tears...................in ne case, i just gotta keep on smiling, i learned that today, cause u kno wat? we're here, yeah, we're here and there's nothing we can do about it...so, mit as well have fun with it, mit as well not hate it for how crappy it is, but take wat good it can give us, and use dat good to make more good...ne wayz...im fo fruiting tired...ooo it's hot in here........'nit.

~HoSHi*